Blue
by Jysella
Summary: and the angst parade continues. when pain becomes pleasure a certain happy go lucky agent is caught in the midst. please reveiw, it's 12:30 on the 28th and i just want a reveiw. please


Jysella: here we go again  
  
Numbuh four: now what?  
  
Jysella: more angst.  
  
Numbuh five; but what about-  
  
Jysella: nameless? I tried, I wrote a chapter, it sucked. Too much angst left in my system.  
  
Numbuh four: yes but-  
  
Jysella: why not make it angsty? Tried, failed.  
  
Numbuh five: then let us-  
  
Jysella: finish a sentence? No. Audience?  
  
Audience of delusions: go to sleep, its twelve,  
  
Jysella: grow- wait that means it's my birthday  
  
Audience of delusions: happy birthday, perhaps some one will get you the rights to KND in celebration.  
  
Jysella: Nope. Still don't own 'em, please don't sue.  
  
~*~*~*~`  
  
Prelude: She did it the first time a month ago, a simple dare to test for courage. Two weeks later she missed the sweet pain on her skin. Four weeks later her arms, the thinnest ever known, were covered in angry red lines.  
  
Blue  
  
She sat in a bubble bath, steam fogging up the mirrors, gagging on color. The entire room was blue, so blue. Her mind was overcome by it. In vain she attempted to focus her obsidian eyes, open wide in imagined panic, on something else, anything else. Sighing they focused on the bubble her right knee bore. It was beautiful, so clear, so strong yet more fragile than even the girls mind. It was simple, a sphere created out of the soap which covered her body. It was blue. The girls body convulsed, a strange gulping sound came from her throat. The room needed color, some color, any color, red would be nice.  
  
Instinctively she reached out for a small gleaming object on the wet counter. It was thin, sharp and silver. She sighed in content and drew it closer to her, forcing pleasure that rose in her throat down to the pits of her stomach. Touching it to her arm she relaxed, tension flowing from her eyes with each drop from her vein. This was good. This was very good. This was release. Her eyes rolled back in her head, she sighed. The sound reverberated around the empty blue and red room. No longer choking she was happy. Very happy. Oh the joys a razor could bring.  
  
The steam faded along with her ecstasy, the pain left her another scar. She scowled and stepped from the freezing water, shivering as her bare ivory skin was blasted with the now cold air. With one thin arm hugging her body she reached for the fluffy green towel, the fuzzy emerald warmth that was so tantalizingly close. But her arm halted halfway to its goal. Though the pain was gone the cut remained, dripping blood on the cold blue tile floor. It wasn't fair, the pain had left but the blood had stayed and was now staining the white grout with a weak crimson fury. Below the still bleeding wound were dozens more identical. Their red lines saving her ivory skin from the monotone death that had engulfed the bathroom. Saving her from the monotone death the blue room had attempted to evoke.  
  
Pushing her mind past the red surprise she continued to stretch for the oh so close towel and the warmth it embodied. Her shoulder trembled from the effort, the shakiness spread to a delicate arm tremor. Her whole body quivered from the movement. And it was fine; everything would be fine if she could reach the towel. That was all she needed. That was all she wanted.  
  
No longer able to bear the wait and strain of reaching from a position close enough to grab she lifted her feet from the floor, welcoming cold rushes of air beneath her soul, and physically moved her self closer. Just a little closer to the towel.  
  
The green object weighed tons in her hand. She strained to wrap it about her shoulders and then continued to shiver despite the warmth. Her arm still bled, a continual river of red water flowed to the floor.  
  
Again she reached out a thin arm and again found she couldn't maintain its position. Oh well, no matter. The girl lifted her foot but quickly had to reaffirm it position with terra firma. She breathed in deeply, calming her fluttering heart, and reattempted this process. This time she was able to lift her foot and move forward. This time she was able to over come the dizzy spell that followed.  
  
Forcefully she focused her mind on the slap of her foot against cold blue tile. Wrapping her eyes around blood that still fell. She made her way to the door, three steps that seemed an eternity, and reached out, her shaking hand touching the cold metal. Vaguely she knew her hand should have ceased its tremor moments before, vaguely she didn't care.  
  
With all her thoughts focused on controlling the movement of her wrist, ignoring the steady flow from her arm, she turned the doorknob and entered the hall. Wood grain that had always felt good on bare feet now accosted it with a variety of subtle bumps and drops that she hadn't noticed before. The color of walls that had always seemed so bright began to fade.  
  
Dimming eyesight led her carefully down the hall, her bleeding arm wrapped around a small towel that fit her so well while the other stretched to stroke the faded walls grain. She was almost there, another step and she would be there, another step, her knee gave way beneath her and she collapsed; fell face forward into a warm body.  
  
Her eyes remained closed to the soft substance that ensconced her cheek. Color seemed even more faded to her eyes. Focus was difficult. Her heart pounded behind her head.  
  
"You all right? " a voice called from miles above her. The girl didn't respond but tried, once more, to open her eyes. Slowly the cloth enlivened to her eye, color springing to life while she fought a pulsing sensation. Nothing left to give, her arm ceased with its contribution and she slipped further into darkness; weight falling heavily on the cloth that had caught her.  
  
It was blue.  
  
~*~*~* Jysella: ::wide eyed:: I wrote this?  
  
Numbuh four: yeah, you did.  
  
Jysella: why would I write such things?  
  
Numbuh four: because you are a creepy, sadistic, teenager  
  
Jysella: ::brightly:: oh yeah, well please review. Tell me you understand this.  
  
Numbuh five: I don't  
  
Jysella: ::glumly:: audience take it way  
  
Audience of delusions: flame or don't. I really don't care right now just let the authoress know you read it.  
  
Jysella: I think, if necessary, I will post an explanatory chapter, but I think you can figure out what's going on without my help  
  
Numbuh five: sure they can, do you even know?  
  
Jysella: no  
  
Numbuh five: that's what I thought 


End file.
